Restraining Orders Can Be Obtained Against Former Lovers Who Can't Accept the End of the Relationship

Helpful Tips Regarding Restraining Orders

As Valentine’s Day approaches, many lovers will be out preparing to surprise their loved ones with gifts, dinners, chocolates, and roses. But what about the scorned lover, the person that believed their relationship was the “right one” the “soul mate of my life has been found”, what if that person just can’t accept that his or her romance with that special person is in fact over and done.

Failing to accept the ending of the relationship, the scorned lover continues to revive the relationship with his or her former lover by turning to the following behavior: constant calls, notes on windows, showing up at the former lover’s residence unannounced and uninvited, staying outside the former lover’s residence within eyesight and refusing to leave, sending emails begging forgiveness, and leaving sexually laced messages in order to spice things up again. Although the scorned lover may not in any way have physically abused the former lover, is the scorned lover’s behavior enough for a family law court to issue a restraining order against the scorned lover?

The answer is, well, yes. The California Court of Appeal, in the Second District, ruled recently as of February 11, 2014, and just a few days shy of Valentine’s Day, that a person may exhibit conduct enough to fall under the category of disturbing the peace of another as defined by the California Domestic Violence Prevention Act (“DVPA”). The appellate judges in Burquet vs. Brumbuagh (Opinion B248031), a court case coming from the Los Angeles County Superior Court, reasoned that Mr. Brumbuagh’s (here the scorned lover) continual messages to Ms. Burquet that he loved her and wanted her back, his leaving messages filled with sexual innuendos, his showing up to her home uninvited and refusing to leave when asked to do so, and his apparent inability to accept from her the fact that she was not interested in him anymore and wanted him to stop contacting her was enough evidence to hold that his behavior fell under the category of abuse and disturbing the peace for purposes of issuing a restraining order under the DVPA. The appellate judges further ruled that Ms. Burquet did not need to demonstrate any type of violence committed by Mr. Brumbaugh toward her in any way. It is worthy to note that his behavior continued for a period of months, in fact five months.

So as Valentine’s Day arrives, let the lovers bring their chocolates, exchange their special cards, eat and dine at their favorite restaurants, order the best wines, reminisce about that time “when you had me at hello”, and let each believe the other is their soul mate. But beware the scorned lover who just can’t face the facts of finality when a romance is over, dead, and no longer able to be resurrected.

If you have questions regarding a restraining order, please contact me to discuss the specifics of your case and how I may be able to help you.

David Gonzalez

Restraining Orders Attorney in Fullerton